End of Semester

as the semester is winding down things seem to bee winding up. each load of homework seems to be doubleing by the second. in each class i find myself doing hours on homework and only homework. eveything is all coming together and really matters and i realized that i need to step up and start going. one night i had a dream that i had a huge project due the next day and forgot all about it. i was scrambling during the whole dream trying to create this project from scratch. i needed to make a suclture which was worth all my grade and as i was making it it kept falling apart and breaking which made me frusterated but i continured to work as everything that i kept doing would fall off or break. i did not want to quit because i needed to do that homework in order to pass but then i finally gave up thinking that it was to hard and i failed. but then for some reason i began to work againand got the perservernce to contiue working and finish. and i finished it and i woke up

Thanksgiving

over the past week i have been at home which was a change after living here for a couple months. being back at home made me realize that i do really enjoy humboldt more then i do back at home. i like the people back at home and some of the old activities that i did but here it is so much more beautiful and i love being so close to the woods. back at home i am always surrounded by buliding houses or some sort of structue. there is no place that i can truley be in nature and relax. there are so many people ther and it is always so congested. i would love to live in a place where i could just be surrounded by nature right by the beach with not very many people so i willl not be bothered. i really want to travel the world and see all the world wonders  that i have never  seen. i think that im going to go to new zealand and and maybe one day i could even live in a polace that pretty. humboldt has opened up my eyes showing me that this isnt the only place out there there is so much more out there in the world and i need to live my life filled with experieces not with other insignificant things that wont really matter in a few years. people have a lot of their veiws twisted and disotrted but i think that ive finally figured out what i proioities are

rain, rain, rain

Being from Long beach i am not particularly use to all the rain up here in humboldt county . it rains alot here and im still adapting to all the mositure. but because of the rain is why this place is so beautiful and why i love going into the forest and seeing all the wonderful plants and life that this rain water brings. one night i was dreaming that i was in the forest with my freinds taking a night hike and then it started pouring and for some werid reason i was inly in a bathing suit and i was really cold but then the rain stopped. and it was all sunny and we contiued on our journey only to find out that i was going to rain even harder so we started to make a shelter out of sticks and logs and anythiing that we could find that would help and shelter us form the wind. as we collected the sticks the clouds blew in thickly with a greyish black tint to them, we knew that the storm was near and scrambled to finsih our shelter. when we did we all huddled inside and hoped it wouldnt break. then it started to rain, then harder then so hard that our shleter broke exposing us to the storm. then we began to run back to our rooms and i woke up. i hope that this dream never comes ture becuase that would not be fun at all pplus it would be very cold.

Homecoming

Thanksgiving break is right around the corner, the semester is winding down and finals are so close i can barley taste it. And as all this new stress floats around in my head I constantly go back to the thought of my thanksgiving break. i am extremely excited to go home and see my family and all things familiar. the other night i had a dream that i was going home, as i opened the car door my dog marley sprang out licking me uncontrollably from head to toe. then the scene immediately cahnged and i was back at my house. but i was not back in the house that i live in today. i was in the first house that i ever lived in. i had my same old room as i did when i was a child, the lay out was the same, it was all so familiar like no one had touched anything. as i walked around my "house" i had this strange feeling. i knew that this home technically was not mine and belonged to someone else now. when i started walking towards the front door the knob began to twist and i froze. i had no clue what to do other than to hide behind the closest thing to me which happened  to be a sofa. a very odd looking man whom looked about seven feet tall walked through the door, i felt his presence, he felt mine. he knew that something was off so i ran out from under the sofa. i sprinted to the door but then i felt a strong tug on my sweatshirt and found myself in the hands of this scary giant. i fought him then punched hin a few times until i woke up. maybe this dream is trying to show  me that home is where the people are not objects or materials.

long night

last night i had problems trying to fall asleep. i would toss and turn and i laid restless in bed for hours. i hate not being able to fall asleep and i was beginning to get frusterated. finally i when i was able to fall asleep i fell into this werid distorted dream. i was with one of my friends in a random house up on a hill. me and my friend were haning out together in this wierd house where all the walls were painted off green. they rooms were oddly shaped and was almost uncomforatable. both me and him were on the sofa laying down talking when all of a sudden the rooms began to change into different shapes just like in that harry potter movie. we were moving with the rooms when we all of a sudden the room had split right down the middle seperating me and my friend. we were trying to get closer to each other and stay in the same room but every time the room shifted when we got closer to each other. finally the rooms took one final spin and we were both in two seperate areas, unaware of how to reunite. i looked around and all i saw was the pealing green paint on the walls. then i woke up. i think that this dream was telling me that there is someone out there that i shouldnt have let go. i missed the chance to be with them and now my unviverse is trying to keep us seprated.

halloween

for the past week i have been extremely excited about halloween because its my favorite holiday. me and my friends have been getting prepared and started making our costumes which is making me even more excited. so the other night i had a dream that it was halloween night and me and some friends were over at a place that was supose to be the plaza but didnt really look anything like it. we were all dressed up in out costumes but at one point my friend tried to take off his mask and he couldnt. we had all become what we were dressed up as. i was an indian and i couldnt escape my costume. we were all freaked out because we were no longer oursleves but we were these weird versions of someone else. we continued with our night trying to figure out how to get rid of our costumes. but soon we all started to enjoy being someone else and were actually starting to act and fully become our costumes being lost in halloween. then the sun started to come up and we were hoping that when the next day came we would all be back to normal but we werent. we all began to freak out agian and then i woke up. im still really excited for halloween i just hope that this dream is not illuding to a weird mystical night. i just want to have fun!

Suffocation

one night i woke up questioning my dream wondering if it had anything to do with my life. I had a dream where i had just meat this guy at a party. we were talking the whole night and had a great time but towards the end of the dream everything started to turn dark and i started to fell strangled and suffocated. i couldnt really breathe and the room no longer was a room but i was locked inside of a deep hole and i couldnt get out. this guy had trapped me inside and i was attempting to climb out pulling on the roots hoping that it would support my weight. the roots snapped and i started falling until i woke up. this dream has alot of meaning to me because i have just met a new guy that i am some what interested in but i feel like everything is moving so fast and that im starting to drown in something that i dont even want, or am even ready for. i didnt come to college to find a boyfriend im here to learn and discover myself and i feel as though he is holding me back from my personal growth. i really do like him but i feel like timing is everything and maybe this isnt the right time. so maybe my subconscious is trying to tell me to follow your gut even if its not logical, and ask yourself, what do you really want? and is he included?